IsYour Own Frustration Cancelling Out Your Best Efforts

Posted on June 9, 2011 by Motivation Guru

Everybody gets frustrated every so often. People’s behaviour drives us crazy, we get frustrated by our own inaction, we get frustrated by things over which we have no control – like the weather or volcanic ash! But what of those of us who are doing our best to live a more successful life, or even change our lives, who get frustrated when nothing seems to be happening, we don’t seem to be making the great strides that we expected?

Newsflash! – the one sure way of holding yourself back is wondering why you’re not going forward! Frustration is a waste of our precious attention and energy. Wondering why what we want to happen hasn’t happened yet is a useless, negative, self-defeating thought – you might as well say to yourself “well, I sort of knew that it wasn’t going to happen anyway!”

We have a finite amount of energy at our disposal and your personal development goal should be to marshal that energy and target it, like a laser beam, on getting on with both what we have to do now and heading in the direction of whatever it is that you want out of life. Frustration, worry or even wondering about when, how or if something will happen is a dangerous distraction, a self-destructive use of your energy – it’s like you’re focusing your powerful laser beam back on yourself! You’ve got to be so careful where you point that laser beam because it can be equally constructive or destructive.

However, if you’re normal, your laser beam isn’t turned on at all. Psychology confirms that the normal person pays precious little attention to anything and invests a mere one percent of their energy in doing what they’re supposed to be doing. If you’re not doing what you’re supposed to be doing now, when are you going to start? The only place and time that you are is the present moment – the only place and time that you can focus your energy is this very moment. Wishful thinking, daydreaming, wanting or needing are an utter waste of your energy because these thoughts have nothing to do with the scientific reality that everything only exists now.

So, if you’re getting frustrated that you don’t seem to be making progress, it’s your own frustration itself that’s pinning you down. If you feel as if you’re stuck in a rut, it’s that very feeling that has you stuck there. You must to turn your attention to the importance of living in the present moment. Now is the time and place that demands your attention – not some of it, like the average person, but as much of it as you can manage. The very input of an abnormal amount of energy into the present moment will evoke an abnormal response from energy in general. This is how extraordinarily successful people are highly successful – they put their energy into the here and now and, as a result, they have presence. That is what you must do as well.

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Change Your Life? You’ve Got To Be Brave To Be Different

Posted on June 8, 2011 by Motivation Guru

How many good ideas have you had that you just never did anything about? Have you ever noticed that some of the most successful people are where they are because they followed up on some really simple idea – the kind of idea that you say to yourself “I could have thought of that!”?

In fact, we’re all struck by inspiration now and then – it’s just that normal people will laugh it off as a flight of fancy. And that’s what makes normal people normal – and the few that actually do something about their good ideas are abnormal – abnormally successful, exceptional people.

So, next time you catch yourself wishing that your life were different – and if recent surveys about just how much people don’t like their jobs are anything to go by, wishing your life were different is a regular occurance – realize this: for your life to change, you have to take action yourself. You’re the one who’s got to do something a little different, a little courageous and a little brave. Not a lot – a little will suffice for starters.

Ah, but you’ll say to yourself that you’re not the kind of person who could set up a successful business or develop an new idea. You’ll say to yourself that you’re not the type who takes a risk – you’re not the type that would ever appear on the front of Success Magazine. But it’s only this defective thinking inside your own head that’s keeping you off the front pages of international magazines. It’s only the pathetic little voice inside your own head that’s holding you back.

Is your life not bad enough for you to do something about it? Are you not uncomfortable enough to get up off your normal ass and start living instead of merely existing? Perhaps you’re afraid that other people will sneer at your ideas or the idea of you being a success? Don’t waste your time worrying what others are thinking about you – they’re not – they really don’t give a damn.

You’re the one who has to lead your life – otherwise you’re just going around in ever decreasing circles. It’s up to you to take action – otherwise you’ll lie on your deathbed wondering “what was that all about?” You’re the one who has to do something – and that something has to be done right now. There’s no point in waiting for a miracle – you’ve got to set things in motion yourself.

So, today, do something different, do something brave – even if it’s only shaving with the hand with which you don’t habitually shave! Once you do one thing differently, you’re setting your mind up to do lots of things differently. And until you do some things differently, nothing different will ever happen.

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Why You Shouldn’t Want A Life Coach

Posted on June 1, 2011 by Motivation Guru

I have worked in the personal development business for nearly sixteen years now and, to be brutally honest, a get more than a little fed up when I see people, who are all over the place themselves, suddenly announcing that they’ve become a life coach because they completed a couple of days’ course or get some internet accreditation. Being a life coach is a serious business. A life coach is well placed to play with client’s minds – and many who do just that with awful results. Their clients ‘follow their gut’ – a saying I have heard more than once – or people ‘go with the flow’ – more life-coach-speak. Unfortunately, I sometimes find myself in the position of having to help someone pick up the pieces of their lives having taken such so-called professional advice.

I deliver a two-day personal development programme – I’ve been at it for over fifteen years – and I explain to participants that I’ve given them all the tools that are required to do whatever to achieve their goals, whether that’s make lots of money, find their ‘soul-mate’ (whatever that means!) or effortlessly find happiness. The problem with many people is that they’d like someone to take them by the hand. When you were a little kiddie, your parents held your hand – your teachers did the same, perhaps not literally. Now that you’re an adult, you need to grow up. You’ve got to take responsibility for your life – on one else can. It’s time to stop depending on the supports provided by others and start taking action for yourself – I think that’s what self help and self improvement mean.

You’ve got to come to terms with the fact that the only person who can get inside your head is you. More to the point, you need to realize that, if you don’t get inside that head of yours and take charge, nothing in your life will change. Seventy years’ research in from field of psychology proves that the normal mind controls the normal person and that the so-called normal mind is tortured by the ghosts of our formative years. Neuro-psychological research also tells us that, when we take control of our minds, we can enter what successful people call the ‘peak performance zone’ and transform our lives. But only you can do that.

You’ve got to bend your wild mind to your own will. Your normal mind is wild because, currently, it’s a law unto itself. Your mind is obsessed by your past and worried about your future – and you’re stuck, helpless, in the middle. You must take over the levers of power – tell your mind who’s in charge. Teach your mind to focus on the here and now – the bit that your mind won’t focus on at all – the time and place that life is lived, where risks are taken, where opportunity knocks.

And, now that you’ve got to the end of this article, take time out to, quite literally, smell the roses. Close your eyes, experience the noise of reality, the aromas of now, the feeling of each breath that you take – what it’s like to experience the real world now. Because, if you don’t come to your senses, your life will never change.

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What Good Will Personal Development Training Do You?

Posted on May 31, 2011 by Motivation Guru

The short answer to the question is “none!” – unless, of course, you’re prepared to put what you’ve learned into practice. And that’s where most of us fall down. OK, they spent a day or two and it was fabulous, they felt invigorated, uplifted, ready for action. Unfortunately, however, research has shown that it takes about six weeks for the effects of the average training course to vanish – completely – and personal development training is no exception.

But how could this happen? Because it’s less hassle to stay the same – it’s less hassle to stay “not too bad” when everyone else around you is not too bad as well. It’s less hassle to not have your friends – or, as some of my personal development clients have told me, their family – looking at you as if you’ve become some kind of born-again weirdo! It’s simpler to fit in. And, it doesn’t matter what new ideas we pick up, sooner or later, to a greater or lesser extent, we revert to type, we revert to our default settings, we go back to being normal. But normal is crazy – there’s over seven decades of research that proves that. And not-too-bad is simply not good enough when you think about the life that you could have – effortless happiness, effortless success, peace of mind.

So, what are you going to do to change your life? Because, you need to understand, if you want it to change, you’re the one who’s going to have to do something new, something different. Don’t listen to anyone who will tell you that you can change your life in five minutes – they’re after a quick buck. Don’t listen to anybody who will tell you that success is all about making loads of money – they’re the ones who want loads of money and some of it is yours! Don’t listen to people who keep recommending the latest life-changing book that they’ve just read to you – you won’t change your life by reading – you change your life by doing.

Doing what? You’ve got to do little things in your life differently. You start with little things – like try brushing your teeth with the hand that you don’t normally use – and your mind will get used to the idea that, in every single thing that you do in your life and in every single situation in which you find yourself in your life – you have a choice. You have a choice – can choose to live automatically and mindlessly like all the other normal crazy morons that are content to be not-too-bad, or you can choose to focus on the moment, feel the toothbrush’s bristles on your teeth, notice how differently you’re holding the brush, taste the toothpaste. It’s in the small detail of everyday life that you will discover reality. And when you discover reality, you will realize that you can, indeed, achieve effortless happiness and success because, in reality, it just happens.

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Explaining Personal Development And Self-Help

Posted on May 30, 2011 by Motivation Guru

What Is Personal Development

According to Wikipedia, “Personal Development refers to activities that improve self-knowledge and identity, develop talents and potential, build human capital and employ-ability, enhance quality of life and contribute to the realization of dreams and aspirations.”

Basics Of Self Help

If a person were to deliberately begin working on their own personal development, they would be focusing on many things. Listed below are the majority:

-building or renewing identity
-spiritual development
-developing strengths or talents
-improving social abilities-improving wealth
-defining and executing personal development plans
-improving health
-improving self-awareness
-improving self-knowledge
-identifying or improving potential
-building employ-ability or human capital
-enhancing lifestyle or the quality of life
-fulfilling aspirations
-initiating a life enterprise or personal autonomy

What Is Self-help

Self-help is very similar to that of Personal Development. Self-help generally refers to growing and learning as an individual by reading and experiencing. Many concepts and lifestyles can be learned by oneself or through social groups and communication with others.

Self-help is extraordinarily important. It allows you to learn and grow as a human. It allows you to gain knowledge and wisdom that that you can apply to the work place, relationships, or anywhere you see necessary. Knowledge is power!

Life Is A Journey

We all have this one body and this one life – that is why it is important to enjoy it while we are here. Self-help can help you achieve a happier life. Learning how to become better at something is exciting, as we can apply that to our lives. Learning how to be a better colleague or better friend can not only benefit ourselves, but everyone else that surrounds us!

As we age, we realize more and more how precious life really is! We are here for only a fraction of time – in the grand scheme of things. So what should we be doing while we are in fact still here? The answer may vary from person to person – but I feel that we should focus on enjoying our lives!

To me, Life Is A Journey – one that allows us to build relationships and
friendships. One that allows us to gain experience and knowledge, knowledge and experience to give ourselves a sense of ‘being’ while we are here.

Life should be enjoyed – there’s no doubt about it. Take a moment and ask yourself “What are my goals in life?” Achieving those goals will make you happy. That is why your life should revolve around accomplishing these goals!

Never Give Up!

My life is dedicated to helping people understand this concept. Teaching others that you can in fact create your own future by teaching yourself anything! Self-help is the key to success! You are the most important person in your life! This is my recommendation to you:

-Determine something about yourself that needs improvement
-Research and learn how to improve on on it
-Repeat step 1 & 2

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Personal Development – Is Your Life Good Enough?

Posted on May 30, 2011 by Motivation Guru

A couple of months back, during one of my Personal Development Workshops, I mentioned that, more often than not, when you ask someone how they are today, the reply you’re most likely to get is “not too bad”! On the second day of the workshop, one of the participants told us that, on his way to the venue, he’d been listening to early morning radio. Half a dozen people had called the station for a quiz and, in each case, when the host asked the caller how they were this morning, the answer he got was “not so bad” – each and every one! And although I believed that that kind of fed-up response was an Irish thing – but I since discovered that it’s universal. My French friends will tell you that they’re ‘pas mal’, the English reply in much the same vein. And even my American clients tell me that, when they reply that they’re having a great day, they’re simply trying to convince themselves!

Even a cursory scan at seventy years of research in psychology will tell you that not too bad is just about as good as life gets! Normal people, to quote the celebrated spiritualist Tony deMello, sleepwalk their way through life never realizing that, in order to embrace life to the full, all they’ve got to do is wake up! Unfortunately, the average mind exists on auto-pilot – the research confirms that, using our psychological powers of automaticity, we pay precious little attention to anything that’s going on. And, in paying no attention to our daily lives, we totally miss the opportunities of life that are staring us in the face.

So wake up – if you’re not too bad reading this, then that’s not good enough! Why would you go through life in some kind of comfort zone that’s not uncomfortable enough to do pull yourself together and change your life? Do you have to experience a catastrophe or rock-bottom to wake up? All the evidence suggests that this might be so. The personal development writer, Ekhart Tolle, had to suffer something like a total breakdown, had to end up living on a park bench, before he realized that he needed to wake up!

Don’t go that low. Don’t let yourself down. Don’t let life pass you by while you’re moaning about not liking your job, while you get hassled over your finances, while you get hyper over the peaks and troughs of what you think is life. You feel the way you feel because you’ve made things that way. And only you can change your life – you can transform it. All you have to do is wake up.

What do I mean by waking up? Focus on, pay attention to what’s real, not what’s going through your head and making your existence mundane, routine and unfulfilling. Open your eyes, see the reality staring you in the face. Come to your senses, smell the roses. You’ve got five senses – isn’t it about time that you used them?

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A Simple Exercise To Focus And Transform Your Life

Posted on May 29, 2011 by Motivation Guru

It just takes five or ten minutes to discover the world of difference between what it feels like to be focused and being stressed out – I’ve been helping people to focus for over fifteen years and I know that it works. And each Monday and Wednesday, my personal development ezine readers are sent simple tips and tricks on how to focus their mind – and it’s free! Every week, people all round the world join my online workshops to learn exactly the same thing. So, what is focus about?

Firstly, you’ve got to realize that being focused doesn’t come naturally. The normal adult mind is either buried in the past or worrying about the future. The worry you already know about – research shows that the majority of people are worried about not having any money, worried about how their children are turning out, worried about their business, worried about their pension. For each stage of life we’ll always find a set of worries. And all this worry is about events that didn’t happen yet – and, more importantly, stuff that we really don’t want to happen! What type of idiot would waste their energy on stuff that they don’t want to happen? A normal idiot!

Even though we are all conscious of worry, we’re not conscious of the fact that our subconscious mind is preoccupied with the past and it’s as a result of the past that we worry about what we don’t want to happen! We learned the things that we hate about ourselves as young children – and our subconscious mind keeps on playing the same old broken record. And you never know that it’s happening, so you’ve never realized that you could do something about it.

What you do need to realize is that you don’t have to do anything to sort things out if you train yourself to focus your mind on the present moment. Yeah, that’s what focus is – a here and now thing. This is where you spend each day, it’s where you could do your very best if you were focused, now is the only place that you can be, you have no choice. The choice you have, however, is whether you’ll bother to turn up for your life or not. Once you decide to turn up, all else will be transformed.

OK then, how do you focus? Well, here’s your first training session, right here, right now. Sit down somewhere where you won’t be disturbed for a couple of minutes. When you’ve got comfortable, close your eyes and do nothing except listen. You’re thoughts will try to distract you but, when this happens, just grab onto the next sound that you hear. When you try something this simple, you teach your mind to pay attention to what is actually happening now – and that’s focus.

Even if you just started with five minutes of sitting and hearing, you’ll understand something very important – reality has nothing to do with the crap in your head that you’ve been giving all your attention to.

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To Change Your Life You’ve Got To Change Your Life!

Posted on May 29, 2011 by Motivation Guru

Most of us want more out of life. This is not to say that you’re unhappy with what you have. Indeed, the secret to happiness is already having what you want. But that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t be constantly striving to scale higher heights of success and happiness because you can never stand still in life.

But there are those who are abjectly unhappy with their situation – the majority of people contend that they are unhappy in the work that they do, a frightening number of people worry about not having enough money and then there are some who are just downright unhappy with themselves as persons.

What you need to understand is that you will get precious little out of life by wishing or by being unhappy with things as they stand. The one thing that is stopping you getting something different out of life is the blindingly obvious fact that you continue doing everything the same. Keep doing the same things and nothing will change. If you want change in your life, you’re going to have to do something different.

What are you to do? Like all great journeys, changing your life starts with the first step. A small step will suffice because you’re going to have to gradually recondition your mind – to get yourself comfortable with the idea that, in all that you do in life, you have a choice to do something new, something different. One of the most powerful exercises that I offer to my personal development clients is that they use the very routine that has transfixed them in a normal life to dismantle the habitual, repetitive patterns of behaviour that have so constrained them, their view of life and the boundless possibilities that life holds for them.

I suggest the same powerful yet simple tip to you. Use your routine to break routine. Each and every morning, you are presented with a load of little chores that you’ve been doing in a routine way every day of your adult life. If you were to brush your teeth with the ‘other’ hand, you will have reached two, potentially life-changing, milestones. First of all, you will have awoken yourself to the fact that, in every single thing that you do in your life, you can exercise choice. This realization will enable you break every single destructive habit that is holding you back from the life that you really want. Secondly, because you’ll be brushing your teeth differently, you’ll have to pay more attention to the task. Highly successful people call this ‘focus’. Focus means paying attention – not to what you want out of life, but to what you’re doing right now.

Life is made up of moments – each moment that you pay attention is a moment well spent – you relearn how to be fully focused, fully aware of what must done when changing your life calls for real action – not the habitual reaction of the normal mind that will never change.

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Goal Setting: Achieving Your Objectives

Posted on May 29, 2011 by Motivation Guru

Research in the fields of psychology and personal development has proven that the subconscious mind is cybernetic – somewhat like a heat-seeking missile, point at a target and it will hit it. In other words, give it a goal in which it believes and it will, by its own devices, achieve that goal. The normal mind is working in this manner already. Unfortunately, however, the outcomes in which the normal subconscious mind believes are a random mish-mash of the programs we learned as children in relation to how the world works and our own capabilities in it.

In addition, psychology has concluded that the latent state of the normal adult mind is negative. In other words, if you’re normal, your subconscious heat-seeking capability is targeted at, at the very best, a life that’s not too bad – and that is what you get daily. The instructions which the normal mind uses as its guidance system were installed during our formative years. We learned by watching how others lived and by being impressed by things that were done for us or to us. Having grown up in a normal world our onboard guidance system is set on “normal”. And, because psychology indicates that normal people don’t control their own mind, our cybernetic minds are out of control, bringing us to places that we don’t want.

But, as I’ve said, focus your mind to a goal in which it believes and its cybernetic capability will bring that goal about. Of course, you need to know how to reprogram your coordinates! When it comes down to it, belief is not wishing, hoping or wanting. The subconscious mind utilizes sensory data – so believing is seeing, feeling, hearing, smelling and tasting what you want as if you have it already, as if it’s taken as given. Uploading your new objectives is simply done by handwriting what you want, in those sensory terms, as if you’re already experiencing it. Handwriting impresses the subconscious mind and, once done, the subconscious mind will set about its task – the only thing that will divert it is if you start worrying about when what you want will happen (that’s the kind of useless nonsensical thought that sends your mind off its plotted course).

I’ve seen plenty of clients get their desired outcome – I’ve also known a few who, having achieved it, realized that it was not what they really wanted. So, you need to be careful how you set your mind! As a result, as I suggest to my clients, your actual goal setting should be non-specific in terms of the life you want or how you got there but very specific in terms of what it looks, feels, sounds, smells and tastes like to have arrived. So, the bottom line is set your mind on success and happiness, without preconditions, and you’re about to set off on the journey of a lifetime.

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Personal Growth: Giving Yourself The Time To Be Inspired

Posted on May 28, 2011 by Motivation Guru

It may be myth – but many myths are basic facts lost in the mists of time – that, having searched for many years to find the meaning of life, the Buddha became enlightened whilst simply sitting under a tree. It may also be legend, but legend has it that Sir Isaac Newton made is most important scientific discovery, once again, whilst sitting under a tree. And although it was an apple that reputedly dropped for Newton, you have to find your own tree to allow your very own pennies to drop for you – your personal development depends upon it.

Only a clear and uncluttered mind can be inspired. And the normal mind is anything but clear and uncluttered. Psychology has concluded that the normal mind is overwhelmed by random thought – some fifty thousand random thoughts zip through our heads every single day. Many of those thoughts are innocuous but, on the basis of research, some of these thoughts are self-destructive – I was going to say positively self-destructive but that would be an oxymoron – these thoughts are both negative and toxic. I’m speaking of the thoughts that create the false perceptions of damaged self-esteem, worry, stress, anxiety and depression. Left in its natural state, the adult mind simply cannot be inspired.

Is life worth enduring without the spark of inspiration? Is life nothing more than going through the motions if you’re not excited and delighted by the rough and tumble of the out-of-the-ordinary? Sadly, the out-of-the-ordinary is all too rare an occurrence for the normal mind that merely exists in the comfort of the routine. However, if you don’t shock yourself out of the slumber of the mundane you will simply not have lived life to the full. Not only that, you’ll be a drain on the energy of those around you – in particular those who you claim to love.
Everybody is capable of being inspired and inspiring. You are capable of escaping from the normal and living your very best life. But you must make space for inspiration, you’ve got to give yourself the clear, uncluttered time to let the inner you out. Our neighbour in the Alps has often asked me what I do for a living. And, even though I’ve explained it to him many times, he still persists in asking – in his own words “It seems to me and my wife that you spend a lot of time doing nothing!”

Doing nothing is not a waste of time. Doing nothing can often be the time most fruitfully spent. The peace and clarity of mind that comes with spending time doing nothing is the incubation chamber in which inspirational ideas simply spring to life. Thomas Edison found that he only became inspired in his mind’s quiet moments to the extent that he set about creating quiet moments for his mind throughout each working day. The man had over four hundred inventions patented in his name. Pablo Picasso said that he wasn’t sure when inspiration would strike so he made sure that he cultivated a prepared mind.

How prepared are you to be inspired? How often do you simply let your mind set off on flights of fancy? I’m not talking about wandering into negative thought – I’m talking about just letting your mind wander onto what normal people would find undoable or unachievable. But such things are only undoable to a normal mind constrained by preconceived negative notions. De-program yourself – let yourself go, let yourself off the hook of normal ‘living inside the box’. Find your tree, sit under it and spend some quality time doing nothing.

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